


Mirror: MASH

by LadyRavenJade



Series: Mirror Works [3]
Category: MASH, Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies), Star Trek: Mirror Universe
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-12-02
Updated: 2014-12-02
Packaged: 2018-02-27 22:33:49
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,206
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2709137
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LadyRavenJade/pseuds/LadyRavenJade
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Your Favorite MASH Characters in the Mirror Verse.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

Puri considered himself to be a well educated man, certainly he was well read and an accruing concept he found in books both fiction and nonfiction alike was the idea that people somehow managed to lose themselves while they sleep.  
This has always been a source of confusion for Puri.  
How do you not know where you are when you wake up if you were there when you went to sleep?  
Whether or not it is where you normally sleep is irrelevant. Do you not realize that you are in the same position as when you went to sleep? Do you not recognize the same sheets or what ever coving you had from before? Do other people truly lose themselves while they sleep and actually take time to find themselves again when they wake, being disorientated until they discovered they were exactly where they were supposed to be?  
Perhaps they did, but Puri did not or at least never had, which was why when he woke up and didn’t know where he was he didn’t bother trying to remember what ever happened because he clearly could not have been alert and willing during it.  
Instead he focused on more important things like how he was very uncomfortable tied to what he suspected was a chair, how he couldn’t be certain it was a chair because he was odiously blindfolded and could be tied to some odd contraption, lastly and most importantly his hands were tied very tightly making it impossible to reach one of his scalpels, which by the way may have been removed.  
He couldn’t shift enough to tell if they were there or not and that was probably the most disorienting thing about this situation.  
“Hehehe.”  
Correction, the disturbing girlish giggle that he couldn’t quite tell where it was coming from was infinitely more disorienting  
“Oh Doctor I’ve been waiting to see you like this, hehe it suits you.”  
It doesn’t take long for him to recognize the girlish voice and if he wasn’t so angry he just might be impressed.  
“You nasty bitch.” She slaps him hard, but he pays it no mind. She either needs him for something which means he won’t die or she plans to torture him to death regardless of what he does.  
“You have no idea the pain I had in store for you, hopefully you’ll still be my guinea pig, but if not you can watch what I had planed and maybe knowing of your almost fate will be enough to curb your arrogance…but I doubt it.”  
She ribs the blindfold away from is eyes and fastens it tightly around his mouth ensure that he can not longer speak.  
He takes in his surroundings. First they are still on academy property, second his captor is none other then Amy Ramsey the gorgeous young girl with a sweet ass and eyes that just begged to be filled with tears. Apparently she hadn’t liked their games as much as she had pretended to. Her protest had been half hearted at best and he had been certain that there was no threat in playing with the little science track cadet.  
Perhaps breaking out the medical equipment was what had pushed her too far? Puri wondered idly before his eyes focused on another captive.  
Puri didn’t even know the medical man’s name and he was insulted to be sharing a torture session/possible death with the man.  
He was some rich little brat that barely knew a scalpel from a nail pier and seemed to think that his money made up his annoying personality. It might have if he was his god forbid boss, but the little shit wasn’t therefore a kick in the ass had been in the works. Just as soon as Puri or someone else that hated the kid had gotten around to it.  
Puri has refused to learn the asshole’s name on purpose and certainly wasn’t going to try to remember it now.  
He was slightly pleased to see that the idiot was both blindfolded and gagged. Apparently Amy hadn’t been terribly impressed with him either.  
“Look…I…Just was…Jim…it” A somewhat muffled voice sounded from somewhere behind him and he tried his best not to react to it even as he slowly began to make out the words while it was coming closer.  
“Relax Bones it’s from a good source.” A different voice that he could hear clearly, they were definitely coming closer.  
“Ha! A good source my ass. Look after that crazy stunt you pulled everyone is going to be gunning for you. So of course you go off in the middle of the night to meet strange people! Why the hell not?”  
“God your bitchy tonight Bones. You're not still freaked about lunch are you? That was like… a whole day ago.”  
“That was like a few damn hours ago! You-“  
“It was a lot more than that like at least 12 hours or 10 maybe, but it wasn’t a few and technically it is tomorrow because of the time of night.”  
By now Puri recognized one of the voices and was reasonable certain about the identity of the other one, but why were they involved with this?  
“There you are. I have to admit this is a nice set up.” Jim Kirk commented sounding calm and friendly in sharp contrast to his companion’s unhappy grumble, “The fuck is this?”  
“This is my show and tell. Jayden insisted that I let you pick between our volunteers.” Amy replied sounding none too happy about it.  
“That was considerate of her.” Kirk seemed to approve.  
McCoy gave Kirk an utterly bewildered look at that statement and for once Kirk actually decided to explain.  
“This girl I know asked me not to kill Ms. Ramsey here at lunch and I didn’t, but I made no promises for after, I believe she’s supposed to impress me.” Amusement was clear in his voice.  
“Impress you?” McCoy huffed. “Yes very impressive she’s able to tie two men to chairs, I’m amazed!” Kirk did nothing, but grin in reply.  
McCoy, Puri decided must be extremely useful to Kirk otherwise the man would never put up with that much scorn and sarcasm toward something he was involved it. In fact McCoy was most likely here for one of two purposes, he could be here to be intimidated by what was going to happen to one of the medical track captives or he could be here to be rewarded by choosing which of them would be disposed. No matter the reason Puri knew he wouldn’t make it though the night now.  
If it was the first then it would make more of an impression for the higher ranked of the two to be disposed of in an extremely painful fashion and if it was the other while there was no personal bad blood between Puri and McCoy it only made sense that he would kill off the more competent Doctor. Anyone could get rid of the piece shit he was sharing his bondage with.  
Said piece of shit had clearly woken up because he was struggling hard clearly panicked and making utterly pathetic whimpering noses. Puri shouldn’t forget just how annoying the other man was it was far more likely that they would both die.  
“Is the party starting already?” A new voice came from the left and Puri was just able to catch a glimpse of a new face.  
The sound startled the blindfolded man and he gave a great jerk in the chair he was tied to casing it to fall over, him with it.  
Puri was tempted to roll his eyes. If he didn’t get to see that idiot’s head go rolling before his own did he would be very disappointed indeed.  
“What took you so long?” Amy demanded of her roommate.  
“The Vulcan Professor was stalking the halls, didn’t think you’d take kindly to a pair of uninvited eyes.” She leaned against the wall just inside the doorway seemingly not interested in coming any closer.  
“Whatever, Are we doing this or not?” Amy for some reason slowly slid the headband off of her head. The girlish pink beads glinted in the overhead light.  
“Pick one.” She demanded of Kirk. Kirk did what Puri was expecting.  
“You heard the lady Bones, pick one.” He held his breath and waited for the words that would end his existence.  
“Seriously Jim, this is what you got me out here for?” Of course considering this was McCoy he could be waiting for a while.  
…  
It was somewhat flattering that they all just assumed that she had been able to lose the Vulcan, that she had wanted too. Jayden didn’t move from her place in the doorway, carefully blocking the light from the room to reach into the hallway where the instructor stood watching the scene.  
He was still undecided she knew, but there was no rules about what went on after school hours so he had no reason to interfere, that was why so few people went out this time of night after all. It was dangerous.  
She glanced at Amy, at Jim, and at McCoy they were dangerous too, perhaps more so then the commander at her back who was perfectly placed to snap her neck if so inclined.  
She herself may never be dangerous, but she could be useful and she could associate with those that were.  
Right now James T Kirk was assembling a crew and her greatest gift was manipulation. Kirk knew that, he saw her kill a man by making him change his mind after all. She did it so well that he lost sight of the real threat if only for a moment and that made all the difference.  
Amy was giving Kirk her secret and Jayden was giving Kirk Amy. It was enough to keep her alive and Kirk pleased with her, however-  
The Vulcan shift behind her as McCoy made his decision and Amy flung her headband in a well practiced motion.  
However, giving Kirk Commander Spock would get her on the future Captain’s ship for certain.

The glass beads broke, the liquid splattered and through the gag the man began to scream.


	2. Medical Mayhem

Chapel sighed as her roommate had an absolute fit. Honestly just because she was…well, had been fucking Burns didn’t give her a reason to go crazy. Everyone knew he was heading for a bloody death anyway with the way he acted superior to everyone his rank and blatantly sucked up to the higher ups in the most annoying way possible.  
It didn’t seem apparent to Margaret though, no she had some messed up ideas of them killing his high breed wife together and living happily ever after, oh please.  
Still she thought as the expensive hair brush Margaret insisted on using flew by to crash into a wall and almost upset her toe nail painting; this really had gone on long enough.  
“Why haven’t you gotten revenge yet?” She asked practically.  
“I will!” The blond women more or less screeched.  
“Just as soon as those rotten screwy assholes Pierce and McIntyre slip up! Vengeance will be mine.”  
“Umm…right.” So Margaret was overdramatic at the best of times, but this was just not healthy. Hold up a second.  
“Wait your sure it was-“  
“Of course I’m sure it was Pierce and McIntyre!” The women actually stomped her foot and Chapel considered just slipping a knife into her stomach to stop the noise.  
“You should have seen them. Oh! It was a party! Hip, hip hoary Ferret-face is dead!” Her voice cracked at the end.  
“They sent me flowers Christine. Nice ones.” Chapel was horrified when the women burst out crying. Dear god, Margaret Houlihan was well known for sleeping her way up the career ladder, being crazy competent at her job, having an excellent pedigree, and slicing through spinal cords like nobody else, and the women was crying? At her! Oh god what if it got on her?  
“There, there?”  
“I’ll kill them Christine I’ll kill them all. They will regret that they ever heard the name Frank Burns.”  
Looking into her roommates bloodshot eyes Christine knew that this was not good. Considering the political turn everything had taken medical had reached a rather delicate balance. At the top was Potter who was high in both rank and skill and had managed o live to a more then respectable age so no one messed with him. Just under him was Puri and McCoy who had keep out of each others way at least until the day after the massacre where there seemed to be some odd sort of understanding and despite having been in Starfleet longer Puri was now deferring to McCoy, yet didn’t seem resentful about it. Which confused everyone, however it was fact that McCoy was Killer Kirk’s roommate and there were at least rumors that medical was left alone solely during the massacre because of McCoy’s influence meaning no one was really willing to cross the man right now.  
Directly under Puri and McCoy was where the mess started.  
Burns and Houlihan were higher ranking then Pierce and McIntyre and they were also uniquely insufferable. Margaret’s sex appeal and Burns money was all they had gotten them so far. Well Margaret was competent, but her sanity was questionable at times. These two were as in love with each other, Starfleet and rules as they could possibly be. Their dates were probably visiting the people in agony booths that they had put there. In medical it was well know that there was being sadistic and then there was their level of crazy.  
Combining with them natural troublemakers who didn’t like Starfleet, who were lower in rank then them not because of inferior skills, but solely because they didn’t want to be here? That was asking for trouble.  
However what Captain Potter wanted he would get and he wanted the best medical cadets in his hospital this side of the galaxy and have them tolerate each other. After being forced into retirement from leading up the medical units in the last war, Potter was something of a hero and managed to gather respect from nearly all his underlines. Under his reign the Academy hospital ran smoothly no matter what personalities worked there.  
There were some hiccups of course. While the two trouble making men seemed to tease and torment Margaret in a friendly sort of way, there had been true hatred burring between them and Burns for a while and it wasn’t out of the question that they had snapped.  
However the rumor mill was rather firm on Puri and/or McCoy being the one to get rid of Burns. Culling the useless from the medical track for Kirk with a scalpel instead of a hammer because of some deal McCoy made. It made sense considering they were both late for their shift and looked like they hadn’t slept much the day that Burns was found the morning after the massacre.  
There was a nice tire of medical officers that could fit into a starship and maintain some order. With Burns gone Pierce and McIntyre who worked well together already wouldn’t have a reason as tempting as before to cause trouble and they honestly seemed to be counting the days until their draft ended so there was a good chance they wouldn’t be gunning for the commanding officer. They were good doctors and got on well enough with Puri, McCoy, and even Margaret all things considering. Everyone knew that she didn’t really hate them, well hadn’t hated them.  
Shit falls downward and if the balance up top got shook up badly enough everyone would suffer. Potter’s reaction, Kirk’s reaction, plus whatever Puri and McCoy thought of their direct underlings all really trying to kill each other…it was a cluster fuck waiting to happen is what it was.  
There was no other choice Chapel decided as she finished the crimson masterpiece on her toes. She would have to speak with Father Mulcahy. There was after all no better gossip then a priest and no better advice to be found then spiritual.  
…  
“Do remember uh…like David who slaughtered Goliath you too can face odds which seem…eh…insurmountable…with Gods help of course. You understand?  
“Da, what you are saying Father is that I should beat him in the head with a rock until he pulls it out of his ass.”  
“Ahh, well my child I suppose that would get your point across, though that’s not really what I –“  
“Thank you Father. I have much planning to do.”  
“Er, your welcome! Oh dear well I suppose the Lord works in mysterious ways.”  
“Father Mulcahy! Do you have a minute?”  
“Ahh Christine, yes I have some free time.”  
“I need to talk to you about Margaret father. I believe she will soon do something very foolish.”  
“Oh yes I heard about Burns. It was a pity. He wasn’t’ always very nice, but the man was a patriot.”  
“As you say Father, however word is that he was put down by…well the higher ups and Margaret is gunning for Pierre and McIntyre.”  
“Oh dear, Yes I see why you came to me my dear. Rest assured I shall handle it.”  
“Thank you Father.”  
“Now about payment, I believe that Cadet O’Reilly is having a tough time of it. He’s been working part time for the nurse staff with supply, but the boy’s ESP scores are in the higher percentile and I would hate for him to fall by the wayside as it were. You’ll excuse me if I believe you have more than enough cadavers at the moment down in autopsy and experimentation?”  
“Quite right Father. I…will lend my assistance to O’Reilly.”  
“Good, good. Off you go then and one moment.”  
“Give this missive to Father Marlow for me. I believe this situation may involve a bit of territory invasion.”  
“Y yes Father.”  
Leaving Father Mulcahy’s office Chapel actually left more concerned then relived. Hopefully the Fathers would be able to come to some sort of agreement over territory issues because if not…well few people didn’t suffer when there were disputes within the priesthood.

...

Chekov on the other hand had left Father Mulcahy feeling much better about his course of action. Despite the method of making Sulu see sense the Father did clearly tell him to go for it. Why Sulu had to persist in his tragic lone wolf act was unknown, but if they didn’t make their loyalty to Kirk clear then they would fall by the wayside sooner rather then later.  
This wasn’t the only topic Sulu was being a stubborn ass about either. Chekov liked Sulu, but he had not earned his young entrance into the academy by being soft. Clearly Sulu needed to experience Chekov’s impatiens personally. Oh he wouldn’t kill his Hikaru just shock him a little, use the smaller knifes perhaps. A point, a demonstration, after all there alliance couldn’t go on unless both parties knew themselves to be equal and Chekov did very much want this alliance to go on.  
‘It was easier in Russia.’ Pavel thought to himself.


End file.
